RJ #23
If you haven’t taken at least SIX sets of fieldnotes, collected numerous artifacts, and conducted at least two interviews, you need to do that ASAP! Before 12/1!For this RJ, write about whatever you need to write about. Open topic.
Although this is a late entry, I would still like to take the opportunity to discuss progress of my study in this open topic. After that last of my surveys have been collected via email, I can say that the answers were quite different than I expected. Now I can understand why Henry Glassie states, “Ethnography is interaction, collaboration. What it demands is not hypotheses, which may unnaturally close study down, obscuring the integrity of the other, but the ability to converse intimately.” Although my situation is not as drastic, I can see that I have failed to completely take myself out of this study. I have the audacity to say this because I assumed what particular answers would be, due to my role as a member of the team and my relationship with our coach, Neil Piper. Unfortunately, I had a preexisting attitude that the majority of our actions were driven by our negative attitudes and fear of our coach, as he was described as an “intense…bipolar… narcissistic asshole” (quotes taken from survey results.) However, I have found that the majority of our actions, such as following the practice uniform schedule and making sure that we wear the right jersey, are driven my obligation: “Because that is what we are supposed to do.” So, rather than sulking on these findings, I have developed another idea: an individual of a team may suppress negative attitudes in order to let the team flourish positively. This can be interpreted by the majority of responses regarding team actions versus individual feelings. While the team as a whole was going through the motions of most team activities, even including traditions (See: “Surveys” section) at times, most of the girls’ personal insight resulted in negativity towards Neil. So, it is understandable the each girl suppresses her negative feelings (fear, disrespect, etc.), knowing that it does not benefit to the team as a whole to share and communicate these attitudes. Could it be possible that Neil used to be feared, thus resulting in my initial hypothesis, but as he crossed the line with several players, his respect was lost? This new idea would also support my idea that “an individual of a team may suppress negative attitudes in order to let the team flourish positively”… maybe the team has lost respect for Neil, but realized that in order for us to succeed with or without him, we needed to continue our routines, traditions, and rules. Thus, fear is no longer a motivation, as respect has been lost. Well, this post has definitely been helpful… basically opening the dam and unleashing all of my internal thoughts and questions. Honestly, after this entry, I am really excited to finalize my ethnographic project, because re-reading what I have just wrote has relinquished my hope in my topic… there is something deeper here. 
